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Reality Check … whose reality???

I wrote Dad a letter. Told him that striking me was unacceptable. Asked him never to do it again. I just wanted a record of it, I wanted to protect myself, even though I knew the effort was futile.

Dad’s response to my sister is that I’m wacko, completely off my rocker, that the incident never happened. I am not surprised by this.

Dad appears to have “lost” the two weeks between Mom’s passing and Thanksgiving. This has surprised him, but none of us. One night when Mom was in the ER for a few hours, he thought it had been months. He has been regularly confusing his time lines and not remembering when significant things happened. Unlike Mom’s dementia, he cannot accept that he is not correct, whether he is unwilling or unable, I don’t know.

His reality, on so many different levels, is not the same as ours.

He has had a bunch of doctor’s appointments since Mom’s death which he has either taken a taxi to (once), or my sisters have taken him (I can’t do it anymore, he is too angry with me, I challenge his independence the most). One of his issues is that he has an abdominal aneursym. This would have already been operated on if he were healthy, but he is not healthy, and it sounds like it has grown further.

After his last operation, he woke up with full blown Parkinson’s and unable to walk well. At least they diagnosed it as Parkinson’s. It’s pretty clear that if he has an operation, chances are that he will never be able to live alone at home again. (He shouldn’t be alone now!) In his reality, he will have the operation and heal up fine and all will be well. Legally, he is in full control of his medical decisions, though he has lost a lot of executive function. He will make his decisions based on his reality. Very worried.

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2 thoughts on “Reality Check … whose reality???

  1. You and your sister are in the middle of a nightmare. I am so sorry. Your Father acts and sounds as if his Parkinson’s disease has led to dementia, which happens quite often. I pray for you and your family and I wish peace for you. So sad. I do not blame you for staying away from your Father. Life is rough as my mom use to say. Hugs and love.

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