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Dementia of Different Colors

My Mom is 90 with vascular dementia, and I also suspect some Lewy Bodies. The vascular dementia was diagnosed after a CT scan, and a lot of people seem to know a lot about this type of dementia.

My Dad has not been diagnosed, but the suspicion is that he has Frontal Lobe dementia, probably bvFLD:

It’s a nasty type of dementia, leaving more memory and physical function intact (at least initially), and taking away the ability to process information in the way a reasonable person would, or even in the way a person with a more obvious form of dementia would.  It’s a deceptive type of dementia, because Dad appears to have facility, until you scratch that surface, and then it all starts unraveling.  He used to be able to fool people, but now I don’t think it takes too long before he has anyone scratching their head.  I don’t have the facility with words to describe how different it is from my mom’s dementia, but it’s very different.

I received a call from the sheriff today.  He tried to walk to the care facility where Mom is.  After being stranded for about an hour not far from home, some person called the sheriff to come help.  That was probably the best part of the afternoon, sigh.

Long story short, I had to tell him today that Mom isn’t going to be coming home, and, the unfortunate follow-up, that, yes, this is where she is going to die.  As someone that thinks being home lying in filth and not being fed regularly is a better option, this did not go over well with him, and he had a look of horror.  There was no way I could make it better, as my name is mud with him right now, and I’m sure now and forever.  I think today our relationship crossed a line, as he tried every which way he could to try to hurt me, and things have gone from bad to worse.  I didn’t take his bait, but whatever was left of my father, I fear is gone.



8 thoughts on “Dementia of Different Colors

  1. This is all so sad, but I understand. My Mother died with dementia. My brother is going into the later stages, thus I had to put him in a nursing home. My sister died with dementia, and my younger brother was just diagnosed. Each has somewhat different types of dementia. I am sorry about your Father. I had to call the police many times to go find my brother, he wandered off in an instant and it was so hard to watch him every minute. I am sure it will not be long before your Father has to be placed somewhere. I am so glad your Mother is being well taken care of, that is a relief. God bless you and your family.


    • Oh my dizzy, I’m so sorry you have been so surrounded! It is funny how different it is in different people, the brain is pretty amazing. Frankly, scares me!

      I think he is going to need to be placed soon too, and this is going to be HARD. There will not be one ounce of him that will be cooperative. If he had the ability to cooperate, he could probably stay in the home longer 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • The only members of my family that did not have dementia were my Dad and I. The doctor told me it takes 2 genes, (my mother in this case had both the necessary genes) and apparently I only inherited one of those genes. This amazes me also. I have followed a lot of blogs of dementia caregivers and each person with dementia seems to be so different. There are so many types of dementia. They say most of the dementia patients who become violent are men. But I saw my sister become violent, so some women also have violence problems. People were always telling me – “This too shall pass.” Did that statement help me – NO! Takes years to pass and the stress is overwhelming. Have great compassion for your family. If your father wandered once, he will wander again. My brother wandering 27 times in 10 months. We spent hours searching for him along with police, K-9 dogs, friends, neighbors, and business owners. Oh the stress!


      • You are very fortunate in some sense! I guess that means you bear a heavier burden though 😦

        My mom has periods of violent outbursts, not so much my dad, so I guess we are reversed.

        Yeah, things with Dad will definitely get worse before it gets better. I am not completely sure it can be called wandering, but it is stupid nonetheless, and he can’t comprehend that he can’t make it two houses down because of hi parkinon’s, much less to the facility. Just not based in reality.

        Liked by 1 person

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